Arranged marriage, anyone???


Have you ever thought of accepting an arranged marriage; marrying someone that you never knew?? Yes, I know, in today’s world, it seems so unrealistic. “Why would I marry a stranger?” you said.

But do you know that according to statistics, more than 50% of love marriage ended with divorce?? On the other hand, only 2% of arranged marriage ended that way. No wonder there are couples who had relationship for 10 years, but married only for few months. That’s very sad, isn’t it??

And the reasons for these successful arranged marriage is simple; because the parents know their children more than the kids know themselves. It’s true, I think. Sometimes we don’t even know ourselves. Yet, our parents know almost everything about us. This kinda reminds me of my father’s statement years ago, “My kids cannot hide anything from me because I can know everything just by a glimpse of them.” Wow!!! Such a strong statement, right? And it seriously stick on my mind reminding me to NOT do anything wrong…haha!!!

Our parents know everything…yes, they know what kind of person we are and what kind of person suited us. Real parents would always want the best for their children and I guess that’s why an arranged marriage can be successful. But of course, if you actually married off your daughter/son for the wrong reasons aka money, paying off debt and status, there’s no way your children would be happy!! And your children would definitely blame you…

Honestly, these kind of facts give me a new perspective of arranged marriage. Well, I’m a modern woman (i think..hehe..), living in 21st century and for me, only orthodox people would actually do things like arranged marriage. Seriously!! Who would accept that kind of thing these days?? Unexpectedly…today, my point of view is a little bit different. Maybe there’s really nothing wrong with arranged marriage. But it is very crucial for you to accept the marriage whole-heartedly, so that you can actually try your best to accept your spouse.

And also, you have to be willing to take the risks as in an arranged marriage, there are few probabilities of things that gonna happen;
1) The wife and husband would fall for each other….(Yay!! Hehe..)
2) The husband would fall for her wife, but the wife would NOT fall for him
3) The wife would fall for her husband, but the husband would NOT fall for her
4) Both wife and husband would NOT fall for each other…(Sadly, huhu..)

So, people..what do you think?? What would you choose?? After all, the decision is in your hand. What’s more important is for you to be happy with the person you called husband or wife…=)

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8 comments:

  1. If, and only if I have no other choice, I will go for arranged marriage. Like kalau tak jumpa my other half on 2 years time.


    sora

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  2. actually, i dun even hv that choice..my parents told me ady that they r not going 2 find husband 4 me...hehe

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  3. My parents have found me a candidate last 2+ weeks. At first i dun mind ab the idea at all.. with husnulzoon i go, bersangka baik. Mmmg i prefer cara2 yg suci murni mcm ni pun

    but..

    hmm, An educated gal who live in 21st century, who speaks English, Tho not that well, but confidently. I feel very sad to find out that the guy they were match matching me is well..., a bit lower* than me.

    1. Education; Lower. ok xper, lets go tru lgk.
    2. The look; Average (ok, i dun mind, s long s hes taller than me, n sejuk mata memandang. ok hes taller than me. checked!)
    3 Personality or characters; very doubtful.

    hmm... my heart tiba2 down.. sbb in 33 years old, he cant still drive a car?? no license. it a must-hv nowadays kan?? correct me if im wrong.
    oh mehh.. I know this skill can be acquired but. it somehow shows some characters of him.
    keta dh beli, tp bg adik bawak.

    After few days, hati jadi tawar.
    lelaki kena ada element decision maker skit. nk hidup skali, nk kena decide mcm2 in life ahead.

    tp sbb org tua, asalkan nmpak baik, keja govt. trus diorg OK. sedih sgt.. we know what we deserve for ourselves. salahkah nk pilih yg bagus2 skit, tho xde la nk hebat2 sgt. tu kalo dapat, bonus.

    so i think, i per, lets give it a try,
    smua manusia x perfect, ada kelemahan yg kita boleh trima. tp hmm.. sedih gak...
    [ ni habis negO dh dgn hati ni]
    niat diorg baik.. b4 this mana ada org dtg mintak i.. sbb i bukan terkenal* sgt...


    dia datang skali dgn family utk merisik..
    this guy kinda a slow guy.
    now it has been for 3 weeks.
    call x, sms x. At least show some interest. It will be much appreciated. At least I know someone realizes my existence. tp dia ..Xtau nk ckp la..

    tup2, pakcik dia ckp kat my parents, XX nk blk 23jun ni utk kursus kawen.

    What??

    just sbb family dia suka me, then trus he dun mind marrying me.. in rush way plak tu.. next month nk minang, then kawen. i need to plan jgk. i hv my own commitment jgk..

    hmm, at least try to like or get to know me first, not just simply; Ok.

    nk tolak bulat, takot..
    "kita mungkin x suka sesuatu tp ia baik utk kita " ...

    adeh.


    a.p

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  4. a.p,

    can't u say something about this? tell ur parents how u really feels about this whole thing? it's YOUR marriage, anyway...

    opps, sorry, i know i have no right to say anything about this, it's you and your family's matter but it's really sad if you have to marry someone you don't feel comfortable with.

    u know, one of my best friend asked me if i would accept someone 'lower' than me? i answered without even thinking 'no'. it's not that i downgraded a guy with lower education, lower career, lower salary and no stability in life, but i just think like this....

    when u marry someone lower, he's definitely going to feel some kind of inferiority complex (guys have their own ego), and even if he's not...the wife might feel superior which lead to 'ungkit-ungkit' how better she is...

    do u really think this kind of marriage would last?

    maybe i'm being skeptical here, but i'm being realistic...

    and yes, a guy need to lead. i'm an educated girl with quite 'ok' career, but i still think in a relationship, the guy needs to be the leader, a decision-maker..tho sometimes i might not accept, that's d use of discussion, isn't it?

    i'm sorry, the way i write this...hmmm, it shows that i disagree with the whole things that happened to you. but like you said.."kita mungkin x suka sesuatu tp ia baik utk kita"

    so, i really wish you happiness and good luck, and i wish you didn't make a wrong decision. good luck again, a.p...=)

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  5. Ye, ur totally right. am sharing the same opinion with you. :) Btw, my parents would not force me, they are fine with whatever decision im going to make. I know they are trying to 'help'.. but you see, old folks, their perspectives a bit different than us. I understand their good intentions. But somehow, what is fine at their time, wont be the same now.

    xperla, just let it go..

    Until now, he didnt call or sms me. Tup2 nk balik pegi kursus kawen? very confusing lah dia nie.. kalo kenal skit2 pun apa salahnya.. aii..

    thanks a bunch for ur concern and care. :)

    p/s: u dh kawen blum? hehe..
    my prob is, I always attract the foreigners instead of locals... kalo la i jahat, or nakal.. i dh kawan dgn mcm2 org da.. tp hmm... tau lah, lame mane nk bertahan, for fun bole la..

    a.p

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  6. it's great to know that ur parents would not force u. parents...yeah, they r old folks with their own perspective. but my parents r actually different. u know what they said about this kind of thing?

    "isy, ibu dgn papa x de masa lah nak carik husband utk ank2. nanti klu ap2 jd, x psl2 kite yg disalahkn.."

    haha, quite kelakar and my mum mcm 'ganas' kan? and that's why kerja diorg is tolak sume yg dtg merisik my sis and i. sbb diorang nak kitorang cari sendiri. serius! x smpt lngsg nk jumpe 'bakal' tu sume...haha!!

    so i guess ur soalan dh terjwb...yup, i blm kawen. sbnrnye, i xdelar tua sgt...hehe

    p/s: maybe u patut kawen dgn foreigners, not d mamat hitam of coz, kawen dgn org putih..haha!!

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  7. haha, it's true.. mmg byk kes pun, if an arranged marriage is failed, org yg meng-arranged it akan dipersalahkan. hehe... pandai ur parents. normal la, klo kita pun mcm tu jgk.. but, jodoh ni Allah swt dah tentukan 1000 tahun sbelum kita dilahirkan lg (mcm i baca dlm buku).. kat loh mahfus..

    so mcm dlm quote u jodoh milik kita, kita dpt kawin dgn org tu bukan merely sbb kita suka dia, or dia suka n cinta kita tp sbb mmg kita dh berjodoh dgn dia 1000 tahun sblm kita lahir lagi... huhuu... bila i baca ur quote.. i rasa sgt lah betul..
    (-sapa lah jodoh ku, nape la lambat sgt muncul.. ai.. )

    pernah dgr quote ni,
    everyone has their own prince charming, mine just got lost, and too stubborn to ask for the direction. huhu

    tp kan, i pernah baca, or percaya, or it did cross in my mind, that anyone could be the prospect..
    maybe by having people match matching it for us, it somehow shortened the process.. kalo la sesuai dgn criteria yg kita nak (kalo x, too bad.. it might lengthened* the process ada laa ;)

    i believe they could know each other first, if it went well, then they can proceed.

    in my case, the prob is, the guy doesnt show any sign to get to know each other (or whatever in his mind).. i try not to underestimate him, try nk bg chance.. but it goes to waste. so skrg i xnk dh pikir2 lgk.
    d end. i pun bukan nya teruk sgt...

    for me, klo org tu i tgk xde prospect, i x buang masa buat cute2 nk bg dia terpikat dgn i, even just for fun.. well, sometimes im quite serious.. especially ab the guy in my life..


    most of my foreigners' case, prob sbb agama.. i malas nk ajar, lg pun, i risau sgt niat diorg yg masuk islm sbb nk kawen dgn i x genuine enough to get His Bless and keberkatan dlm hidup..i pikir anak2 lg.. etc. i always worry too much, this is not good somehow, it affect my mood badly.

    hmmm, me.. pandai ckp ja... when comes to application, im not that bright. malu skit, nk ikut sukasuki je propose or directly flirting dgn org yg berpontential.. hehe

    oh ohh.

    til then, thx again for ur kind ears :)
    good luck to u tooo. moga u pun jumpa yg sesuai utk u.. maybe not perfect, tp sesuai.. to go up n down with u, aminn...:)

    p/s: cepatlaa sambung novel jodoh milik kita tu, x sabar nk baca! :P


    thx again. Allah Bles you :)

    a.p

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  8. I am agree with u,but we have to consider about his personality or character too..
    Married only once in our life,so be careful when u choose some1 to be ur husband..

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